Not stupid!
This is so crazy, it just might work.
pub fn infect(mod: *std.Build.Module) void {
mod.addCMacro("malloc", "zmalloc");
mod.addCMacro("realloc", "zrealloc");
mod.addCMacro("calloc", "zcalloc");
mod.addCMacro("free", "zfree");
}